


Learning How to Love

by seke



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Post Secret Ending 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 07:03:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13875660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seke/pseuds/seke
Summary: Saeran gets a cat.





	Learning How to Love

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I am obsessed with the idea of Saeran getting a cat.

Saeyoung felt guilty. Even if he hadn't known about Rika's true intentions or V’s lies at that time, he still believed that he was responsible for all the pain that Saeran had gone through.

Because he abandoned him.

Because he let him suffer alone.

It wasn't fair.

Saeyoung wished things could had been different. He wished he could had switched places with Saeran. He would gladly accept any pain if it meant that Saeran would be safe. But he couldn't go back in time. He couldn't erase Saeran's past, nor his pain. And he couldn't blame Saeran for hating him either.

 

Saeran was receiving treatment, which improved his mood and helped him to cope and slowly open up to Saeyoung. It was hard to trust his brother again after everything that happened to him, but he was trying. He didn't think Saeyoung was a bad person—not anymore—but he still felt insecure. He had been taught that he was unworthy of love and he believed that for the most part of his life. _What if Saeyoung thought he was a bother? What if the RFA disliked him?_ Those were thoughts that haunted him.

He was doing better, though. Before, he hated looking at himself in the mirror—he hated looking like Saeyoung. But after a couple of months living together, he had dyed his hair back to its original color.

But that wasn't enough for Saeyoung. He was happy for Saeran, but still blamed himself. He wanted to do more for his brother—and that's when the other person he would do anything to protect, his fiancé, gave him an idea.

“Give him a cat,” she suggested. “I'm sure he will like having a pet.”

Saeyoung was sure she was right. He knew Saeran liked cats—and he himself liked them too. He just couldn't afford to raise a cat because he was always busy.

He had more time after quitting his job as a hacker, but he still didn't trust himself to take good care of an animal. With Saeran, however, it could work. He was kind and usually spent his days at home. Looking after a pet could bring him joy. Saeyoung could endure his past job because he had someone to protect. Maybe getting a cat could make Saeran stronger, too.

“Saeran, Saeran!” Saeyoung called from the living room. “Come here!”

Saeran, having just woken up after a _long_ night (he had been having trouble falling asleep), left his bedroom and, still in his pajamas, followed the owner of the voice.

“What is it?” he asked, rubbing his eyes.

Saeyoung did not reply; instead, he grinned and showed Saeran a small white box that he had on his hands.

“I have something for you!” Saeyoung said cheerfully, the smile on his face never disappearing.

Saeran looked at the box his brother was holding and then at his face, frowning. He knew his brother better than anyone—and because of that, he was suspicious of his intentions.

Without even replying, Saeran turned around and started walking back to his bedroom.

“Hey!! Saeran!!” Saeyoung yelled. “Why are you so mean?!”

Saeran stopped dead in his tracks. He looked at Saeyoung as if replying, _“I wonder why,”_ before speaking again.

“I have no time for your pranks. Go bother someone else.”

“Listen to me first!”

Saeran stayed still, waiting for his brother to explain himself. It wasn't that Saeran didn't trust him, he just trusted him enough to know that Saeyoung would never pass an opportunity to make a fool of him. And that didn't bother him as much as he made it seems like. Saeyoung was always so happy laughing at things Saeran couldn't understand that, in the end, he couldn't help but chuckle too.

It didn't feel bad to have his brother back. To have a family, even if it was just his brother, his soon to be sister-in-law and him. And of course, their second family, the RFA. Saeran couldn't believe he tried to destroy them once. They were all good and kind people, in a way that was almost dangerous to Saeran. He had never experienced so much warmth before, and his few moments of happiness in the past all ended terribly.

But things were different. _He_ was different. During his childhood, Saeran would always ask God why he was born, why did he had to suffer so much. He had lived an awful life, with torture, brainwash, and tons of abuse. He didn't think he could be happy. He believed he would only suffer until the day he died. But after reuniting with Saeyoung, after doing therapy, after joining the RFA, Saeran started thinking he was _glad_ to be alive. He was grateful for every day, even the ones where he did nothing but look at the sky and felt the gentle breeze on his face.

As if reading his thoughts, knowing how important family was to Saeran, Saeyoung smiled and opened the box.

“Here it is. The newest member of our family.”

And then, Saeran saw the small kitten. It looked so fragile… Just like him. _No_ , he corrected himself, _just like how I used to be._

Saeyoung got rid of the box and put the cat on Saeran's hand.

It meowed, and Saeran felt like he was going to cry.

“Take care of my baby, okay? Mom loves his girl,” Saeyoung joked. “What are you going to name her, dad?”

“Who are you calling ‘dad’?!” Saeran asked, trying to sound harsh, but his laugh betrayed him. Plus, his face was all red. He was almost crying from happiness.

“Can I really keep her? Are you sure… I will be a good owner?”

Saeran had just met that tiny white furball, but he knew he wouldn't be able to let her go. He wanted to stay with her, but the voice in the back of his head kept saying he couldn't, that he would only bring her pain, and he didn't want to hurt anyone. He didn't feel like he deserved her, in the first place.

“Don't worry, don't worry!” Saeyoung reassured him. “At least you will be better than me.”

Saeran stared at his brother and thought for a moment, before nodding.

“Fair.”

Saeyoung could barely take care of himself. And Saeran would never forget the look of horror on Jumin Han’s face every time his brother tried to approach his cat. He couldn't blame him. He also felt like protecting his new cat from Saeyoung.

They both laughed. There was no denying that Saeyoung was terrible.

Saeran let the kitten go, even if he didn't want to. He thought that maybe she would feel bothered by being held for so long.

“I want to name her Lily. Lily of the Valley.”

Lily of the valley was Saeran’s favorite flower. He thought they were similar, he and the plant. When he thought he was weak and useless, but still desired to be loved, to be beautiful. And he wanted to pass that wish to his cat. For her to be loved, despite being so tiny. And that she could grow into a beautiful and strong cat, just like lilies of the valley bloomed into flowers that brought Saeran happiness.

Saeyoung looked at the cat. She was still confused, not used to that place. In his head, he repeated the name Saeran had chosen. _Lily._

He smiled widely, ready to make a joke.

“ _Wiwy_ —”

“Shut up.”

Saeyoung laughed. Saeran didn't even let him finish.

“Did you see it coming?”

Saeran nodded.

“Of course,” he said like it was no big deal. “We are twins.”

Saeyoung smiled upon hearing the words he had said to Saeran in the past. _So he remembered, huh?_

“Have you fed Lily yet?”

Saeyoung couldn't stop himself from laughing. _How cute_ , he thought, he was so insecure at first but there he was, already sticking to a name.

“Of course, of course! Who do you think you are talking to? I'm the God S—”

“Oh, really?” Saeran interrupted him again. “Are you sure you didn't get any help?”

 _Bullseye._ Saeyoung laughed, as if he had been caught lying.

“Of course, my honey helped me! Ah, I wonder if she can hear me?” he touched his forehead with two fingers of each hand and closed his eyes. “Telepathy, telepathy! Honey, if you are listening to me: _I love you! ”_

Saeran rolled his eyes.

“Hm? What? Saeran?” Saeyoung kept pretending he was talking to his fiancé. “Do you think he is scary? No way!!”

Having enough of his brother's shit, Saeran kicked him and caught Lily again, leaving with her.

“No! The connection has been broken! Roger?! Roger?!”

Saeran closed the door to his room.

He let Lily on his bed, before catching his laptop and joining her.

He turned it on, watching his cat while he waited it to load. Then, he opened Noogle and searched “how to take care of a cat”.

An article on a website called Cherryhow appeared and Saeran clicked to read it. 

  1. _Decide if you want a kitten or a full-grown cat._



“Too late for that,” Saeran muttered.

  1. _Consider medical concerns that may come with a specific cat._



Saeran nodded. He opened the notepad on his computer and took notes.

“ _Consider if you have time_ , huh?” he repeated what he had read. He had enough time. He was still unemployed and it wasn't like he was looking for a job. Saeyoung told him to take his time and only help with the charity parties. He felt guilty, but at the same time, relieved. He didn't want to work, not yet.

He tried reading the rest of the article, but judging it unhelpful, he closed it and put his computer away.

Lily got closer, curious of Saeran. He petted her and smiled as she purred softly.

Then, he decided it was better to ask someone instead of trying to find answers online. He reached for his phone and called the first person that came to his mind.

“Hello, Jumin Han.”

“Saeran?” Jumin asked, the surprise clear in his voice. “You are allowed to call me Jumin... How rare of you to call.”

Saeran started scratching his forehead, wondering if he was bothering the other.

“Yeah,” he agreed. He usually didn't have a reason to call him—or anyone. So he simply didn't. The only times he did were to ask Yoosung to play LOLOL with him, but he usually called first.

“I got a cat. I was wondering if you could help me. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.”

Jumin listened to everything he had to say. Then, without having to think twice, he gave an advice.

“First,” Jumin started. “Don't let your brother near it. He is a cat abuser.”

“I know that much. She is safe in my room.”

“Good. Keep an eye on her.”

They talked for more than an hour, from Jumin telling him what to do, to his brother's abusing Elizabeth the 3rd, to sharing stories about her. Saeran was exhausted, but at least he had an idea of what he was supposed to do.

Jumin had told him to feed her twice, so maybe he should do it soon. After taking a shower.

Saeran was truly happy for having a cat, but still, it had been too sudden. He had so many doubts and new responsibilities that he felt nervous. He needed to calm down.

He unlocked his bedroom’s door and called Saeyoung to _watch_ —he said twice, _watch, don't touch her—_ his cat while he took a shower.

Saeyoung agreed to it—even though there was no way he wouldn't play with her and Saeran knew it—and brought Lily to the living room.

 

“Now you are going to stay with mom, okay?”

Lily meowed.

“No, don't say that,” Saeyoung complained. “I know he is your dad, but mom loves you too. He is coming back soon.”

Of course, there was no way Lily knew what Saeyoung was saying, but she meowed again and he took it as a reply.

“Ah, what a stubborn kitty! You are just like your dad. But you… You are very cute too, aren't you?”

Saeyoung laughed, letting his fingers brush her white fur.

Lily purred.

“What do you think, Lily? Do you want to hear stories about your dad? I know some really embarrassing ones!”

If he was being honest, Saeyoung hated his childhood. But it was during his childhood that he stayed the most with Saeran. So maybe it wasn't that bad.

“You think he is _so_ cool, but that's because you didn't met him when he was a kid! Ah, he was such a crybaby!”

Then, he looked at the kitten, as if realizing something.

“Ah. Of course you wouldn't know, you are a baby, too!”

Getting comfortable on the couch, Saeyoung lay down and let Lily stay on his stomach.

He laughed, feeling nostalgic. Maybe nostalgia wasn't really the word, he didn't want to go back to that time where he couldn't protect his brother nor himself. But he liked to think about the few good memories they shared.

 

Saeran had taken his shower and put on his clothes and was walking to where Saeyoung was, when he heard him talk.

“Life has been rough for your dad,” Saeyoung told Lily. “So take care of him, okay? It's a promise, you can't go back now!”

Saeran felt something weird hearing what his brother had said. It hurt him, but it also made him happy.

He walked towards Saeyoung.

“Lily,” Saeran called. “Let's go.”

He took the cat without looking at his brother and left to his bedroom once again.

Saeyoung smiled. He didn't plan for Saeran to listen, but he knew he had. It was so obvious that he was embarrassed.

He called his fiancé.

“Honey! Something really cute happened!”

Back into his room, Saeran left Lily on his bed again, before leaving to get her things.

He brought water and food to his room. He still needed to find a bed and a litter box for her, but for the night, he hoped that his own bed and newspaper were enough. They probably weren't, but he was too tired to bother.

He sent Saeyoung a message.

“Saeyoung. Get a litter box, please.”

Then, he put his phone away and watched Lily eat, before returning her to his bed.

They both fell asleep. For the first time in days, Saeran slept safe and sound; his only worry being how to love that tiny animal the way she deserved.

When he woke up, he saw that Saeyoung had bought a litter box, and it was in his room, already used by Lily.

 _Shit._ He didn't know how to clean it.

When he got up to have breakfast and feed Lily, he noticed Saeyoung wasn't home. Then he looked at his phone and saw that he had sent a message.

“I'm on a date with my love! Wow! Isn't your brother lucky?”

Saeran felt like rolling his eyes, but it was true. Saeyoung’s fiancé was amazing and he was thankful towards her. If it weren't for her, he would never know the truth about his and his brother’s past.

After eating and feeding Lily, Saeran tried to clean the litter box. It was a pain, but he couldn’t let it dirty.

When he was done, he thought about what to do with his free time. He didn't felt like going out, so he decided to watch something on Netflix in the living room. He had the house all to himself, after all.

But he got bored fast. The series wasn't interesting enough and so, he fell asleep.

 

He didn't know for how long he had slept, but he was hungry again. And Lily was too, he assumed, since she was the one who woke him up, meowing.

Since they were the only ones at home, Saeran decided to take the opportunity to act more like himself. His brother wasn't home to tease him, so it should be fine.

“ _Meow.”_ He repeated after Lily, who kept making the same noise.

“ _Meow, meow, meow_.”

Then, he saw someone coming and he stopped moving.

It was Saeyoung _and_ his fiancé. They had heard everything. And they were trying to hold back a laugh.

Saeran didn't know what to say. His face quickly got red while he fell silent.

Both Saeyoung and his soon-to-be wife sucked at controlling their laughter. Saeyoung was the first one to fail, laughing loudly and then being followed by his lover’s laugh.

“ _Meow_!” Saeyoung repeated, trying to stop laughing.

“ _Meow, meow_!” the girl completed enthusiastically.

“Shut up!” Saeran screamed, ashamed. He wanted to disappear. “I'm going back to my room, idiot couple.”

“Did you hear that, meow? He called us idiot couple, meow.”

In his room, Saeran cursed himself for his bad timing. He wanted to be alone.

But Saeyoung didn't allow it.

He didn't even knock the door before entering Saeran’s room.

“Hey,” he greeted.

“What do you want?” Saeran asked, not angry anymore, but still shy.

“We came back so we could have lunch together. Shall we?”

Saeran sighed and gave in.

“Yes, sure.”

Saeyoung thanked Saeran with a smile.

 

A lot of things had happened, but Saeyoung was proud of his brother. He spent so long with only child photos of him, so seeing that he had grown into a fine adult made him happy. It was a relief.

“He said he is coming, meow!” Saeyoung told his fiancé.

Even Saeran laughed.

He thought about Saeyoung as an idiot man, a cat abuser (according to Jumin) and an annoying brother. But in the end, he was the one who was there for him when he needed.

They all sat at a table together while Lily ate from her bowl and in that moment, even if his parents had been nothing but a pain, he thought how good it felt to have a family, to love and be loved. He still had a lot of things to learn, but he knew it was fine. There were more than enough people to teach him.

**Author's Note:**

> LISTEN Saeyoung would totally use "uwu" language, fight me. wtjiwtjwtjitw also i couldn't resist writing the "shut the fuck up" bc memes.


End file.
